Constructive vs Destructive Anger

Below I have summarized some of Micheal Tull's thoughts on anger from his article titled, Constructive vs Destructive anger. 

It is common for someone with PTSD to experience anger.  Traumatic events can make you feel violated and unsafe. You may feel as though you have little control over your life. Therefore it is completely understandable to feel angry as your body and emotions feel so out of control. 

Although feeling angry is unpleasant or uncomfortable, it serves an important function in recovery. Emotions are the body's way of communicating with us. Emotions can also communicate information to other people, inform us on our environment, prepare us for action, and deepen life experiences.

Anger is an emotion that is often about control.

"When we experience anger, our body may be telling us that we feel as though things are out of our control, or that we have been violated in some way. Anger can motivate us to try to establish control (or a sense of control) over a situation. Given this function of anger, it makes sense that a person with PTSD may often experience anger." -Mathew Tull PHD

Although it is a valid emotion, it has the potential to be used constructively or destructively. 

Constructive anger: In Seeking Safety, Dr. Lisa Najavits describes anger that can be healing. It is something that can help you better understand your situation, other people, and yourself. For anger to be constructive, though, a person must be aware of it. Constructive anger is something that is managed. To be able to manage this anger you have to recognize your own needs and the needs of others. With this awareness your anger can help you gain control or maintain self-respect.

Destructive anger: instead, causes harm. This anger is responded to in unhealthy ways. For example, a person may act out aggressively towards themselves or others. This kind of anger is  something that the person is unaware of or something that the person has suppressed or tried to avoid. 

When anger is not attended to, it builds in strength and the likelihood of it being expressed unhealthily is increased.

Anger is one of the most difficult emotions to manage, but if listened to, your anger can help you learn better ways to respond to your environment. 

There are a number of healthy ways of managing anger. Seeking Safety by Dr. Najavits include a number of ways to deal with anger and PTSD. 

•  self soothing
•  Taking a time out
• seeking out social support

It is important to remember that if you have been pushing down your anger for some time, it may initially feel very uncomfortable to approach it. The anger may feel very intense or out of control. However, the more you approach your anger, listen to it, and respond to it in a healthy way, the more your tolerance for anger will increase, and the long-term negative consequences of not dealing with anger will decrease.

*http://www.seekingsafety.org/

Off the topic --but some great advice to living a long life

Happy Birthday, Mother Talley! 
Jeralean Talley is America's oldest living woman on record. And as she turns 115, we'd all do well to follow her example.
"Mother Talley," as she's sometimes called, celebrates her birthday Friday. Born in 1899, the supercentenarian has seen three centuries, and still seems to be going strong. According to the Associated Press, she's visiting the doctor Friday, but still feels healthy.
The Gerontology Research Group keeps a record of the validated longest-living people in the world. According to the GRG, Misao Okawa, who is 116 and lives in Japan, is the oldest living person. Talley is a close second.
Talley lives in Inkster, Mich. but was born Jeralean Kurtz in Montrose, Ga. She lived on a farm where she picked cotton and peanuts, according to Time. She moved to Michigan in 1935 and married her husband, Alfred Talley, in 1936. The two were together 52 years before he died.
It's not surprising that Talley gained some wisdom over her 115 years. Here are some of her simple, but timeless, words to live by.

Follow the Golden Rule.
Talley has repeatedly given the advice that you should treat others how you want to be treated. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, that's my way of living," she told WJBK-TV last year.

Always have a sense of humor.

Talley apparently tried to drive just one time, and failed miserably, as she tells the Detroit Free Press. But telling the story of that failed attempt, complete with a few expletives, cracks her up -- and us, too.

Keep active.
Talley went bowling until she was 104, and still has an annual fishing trip.
But don't be afraid to occasionally indulge.
Talley is known for making headcheese, a jellied loaf made of various pig parts, and has a sweet tooth, according to Time.

Have strong beliefs.
Talley's faith is a large part of her life, and she'll be celebrating her birthday at her local church this weekend. When asked why she lives so long, she told the Free Press, "It's all in the good Lord's hands."

Surround yourself with loved ones.
Talley was married for half a century. Now, she lives with her daughter and has great-great-grandchildren. One of her favorite activities is playing with her young great-great-grandson, according to the Free Press.

Be humble, and act wisely.
"I don't have much education, but what little sense I got, I try to use it," Talley told WJBK. There's a powerful message in her modesty.

This is copied from here....
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/23/jeralean-talley-oldest-american-woman-birthday-turns-115_n_5379938.html

HOPE and FAITH

“Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments. There will be nothing in this world that can defeat us.My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith.” -President Thomas S. Monson

I tried to make the pictures smaller --but for some reason, it just would not work...so the picture is extra bright and extra big!! Sometimes, though, when the storms gather and the rain pours it is hard to feel hopeful. What brings you hope during the hard times? Make a list and reflect on the things that have brought you hope in the past and put it somewhere where you can see the list. When your faith waivers, return to this list. During the better times, add to the list. 

Borderline Personality Disorder and Sexual Abuse

I have pasted RAIN's article on Borderline Personality Disorder below as BPD is one long term effect that some childhood sexual abuse victims experience.

Borderline Personality Disorder | RAINN | Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network

Borderline Personality Disorder, known as BPD, is one of many possible long-term effects of childhood sexual abuse. Research by the Psychiatric Clinics of North America indicates that 40-to71% of BPD victims reported having been sexually abused when younger.i Adults with BPD are also considerably more likely to be the victim of violence, including rape and other crimes.ii

As defined by the National Institute of Mental Health, BPD “is a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity.”iii

Diagnosis of BPD should be made only by a mental health professional. For someone to be diagnosed with any personality disorder, the symptoms must be severe and must go on long enough to cause significant emotional distress or problems functioning in relationships or at work.iv

Symptoms
While each individual's experiences and reactions are unique, there are some common symptoms, includingv:

• Fear of abandonment
• Dramatic and frequent mood swings
• Depression or anxiety experienced in short bursts
• Intense anger (sometimes escalating into physical confrontations)
• Difficulty controlling emotions or impulses
• Impulsive and risky behavior (e.g., substance abuse, unsafe sex, gambling, erratic driving)
• Self harm
• Suicidal thoughts
• 8-10% of patients with BPD commit suicidevi
• Dysfunctional social relations

Treatment Experts at the Mayo Clinic outline the following areas for BPD treatment:

• Psychotherapy
• Psychotherapy is the core treatment for borderline personality disorder. 
• Two types of psychotherapy that have been found effective are:
• Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) was designed specifically to treat borderline personality disorder. Generally done through individual, group and phone counseling, DBT uses a skills-based approach to teach you how to regulate your emotions, tolerate distress and improve relationships.
• Transference-focused psychotherapy (TFP) centers on the relationship between you and your therapist — helping you understand the emotions and difficulties that develop in that relationship. You can then use what you have learned in other relationships.

Medications
Medications can not cure BPD, but they can help associated problems, such as depression, impulsivity and anxiety. Medications may include antidepressant, antipsychotic and anti-anxiety medications.

Hospitalization
At times, you may need more intense treatment in a psychiatric hospital or clinic. Hospitalization can also keep you safe from self-injury.

In addition to receiving professional help, it's important for persons with BPD to take good care of themselves:

• Sleep between 6-7 hours every night; try to go to bed at the same time every night
• Eat a balanced diet
• Exercise regularly
• Avoid making situations that could cause anxiety, anger or irritability
• Avoid alcohol, illegal drugs and medication not prescribed

iZanarini MC. Childhood experiences associated with the development of borderline personality disorder. Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 2000; 23(1): 89-101.

ii“Borderline Personality Disorder,” National Institute of Mental Health, August 24, 2010: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder-fact-sheet/index.shtml

iii“Borderline Personality Disorder,” National Institute of Mental Health, August 24, 2010: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder-fact-sheet/index.shtml

iv“Borderline Personality Disorder,” Mayo Clinic, May 19 2010: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/borderline-personality-disorder/DS00442

v“Borderline Personality Disorder Symptoms, “ Mayo Clinic, May 19 2010: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/borderline-personality-disorder/DS00442/DSECTION=symptoms

vi“Borderline Personality Disorder,” National Alliance on Mental Illness: http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm

vii“Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment and drugs,” Mayo Clinic, May 19 2010:http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/borderline-personality-disorder/DS00442/DSECTION=treatments-and-drugs

Suicide

Suicide Facts- http://www.save.org/

• Suicide takes the lives of nearly 30,000 Americans every year.
• Many who attempt suicide never seek professional care.
• There are twice as many deaths due to suicide than HIV/AIDS.
• Between 1952 and 1995, suicide in young adults nearly tripled.
• Over half of all suicides occur in adult men, ages 25-65.
• In the month prior to their suicide, 75% of elderly persons had visited a physician.
• Suicide rates in the United States are highest in the spring.
• Over half of all suicides are completed with a firearm.
• For young people 15-24 years old, suicide is the third leading cause of death.
• Suicide rates among the elderly are highest for those who are divorced or widowed.
• 80% of people that seek treatment for depression are treated successfully.
• 15% of those who are clinically depressed die by suicide.
• There are an estimated 8 to 25 attempted suicides to 1 completion.
• The highest suicide rate is among men over 85 years old: 65 per 100,000 persons.
• 1 in 65,000 children ages 10 to 14 commit suicide each year.
• Substance abuse is a risk factor for suicide.
• The strongest risk factor for suicide is depression.
• By 2010, depression will be the #1 disability in the world. (World Health Organization)
• In 2004, 32,439 people died by suicide. (CDC)
• Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the U.S. (homicide is 15th). (CDC)
• Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for 15- to 24-year-old Americans. (CDC)
• It is estimated that there are at least 4.5 million survivors in this country. (AAS)
• An average of one person dies by suicide every 16.2 minutes. (CDC, AAS)
• There are four male suicides for every female suicide. (CDC, AAS)
• Research has shown medications and therapy to be effective suicide prevention.
• Suicide can be prevented through education and public awareness.
• In 2004 it is estimated there were 811,000 suicide attempts in the US. (AAS)
• There are three female suicide attempts for each male attempt. (CDC, AAS)

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: http://www.afsp.org/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:   http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

American Association of Suicidology:  http://www.suicidology.org/

http://attemptsurvivors.com/

http://www.thisishowitfeels.com/

Mental Health month continued-SCREENINGS FOR 4 Common Mental Illnesses in Adults

Did you know that...

• About 1 in 5 American adults will have a mental health condition in any given year?
• But only 41 percent of them will receive services?
• About 10 percent of the American adult population will have a mood disorder, such as depression or bipolar?
• And 18 percent have an anxiety disorder, including post-traumatic stress disorder?

Go to this website for 4 screenings. (These are only for adults) and just a starting point-it is meant for your to share with a healthcare professional

http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/mental-health-screening-tools

May is Mental Health Month --Go Green!!!

Celebrate Mental Health Month!! Go to NAMI's go Green campaign and take action!! Stomp out the stigma of Mental Illness. There are lots of ideas you can spread the message!! : wear green, post on your facebook info , wear a green ribbon,  participate in a walk, share your story and lots more go to their site....

http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=May_is_Mental_Health_Month&Template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=167549

Substance Addiction and Sexual Assault Survivors

• Victims of rape are 13.4 times more likely to develop two or more alcohol related problems and 26 times more likely to have two or more serious drug abuse-related problems. (Kilpatrick and Aciemo (2003) "Mental Health Needs of Crime Victims:Epidemiology and Outcomes", Journal of Traumatic Stress).

• In a study of male survivors sexually abused as children, over 80% had a history of substance abuse, 50% had suicidal thoughts, 23% attempted suicide, and almost 70% received psychological treatment. (Lisak, David, (1994) "The Psychological Impact of Sexual Abuse: Content Analysis of Interviews with Male Survivors." Journal of Traumatic Stress, 7(4): 525-548).

• 75% of women in treatment programs for drug and alcohol abuse report having been sexually abused. (Najavits, L.M., Weiss, R.D., and Shaw, S.R. (1997) "The Link Between Substance Abuse and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder in Women: A Research Review." AmericanJournal on Addictions, 6:273-283).

• In a study of 100 adult patients with polytoxic drug abuse, 70% of the female and56% of the male drug abusers had been sexually abused prior to the age of sixteen.(Mueser, K.T., Rosenberg, S.D., Goodman, L.A., & Trumbetta, S.L. (2002) "Trauma, PTSD, andthe Course of Severe Mental Illness: An Interactive Model," Schizophrenia Research, 53:1-2and 123-143).

• Nearly 90% of women with alcohol dependency were sexually abused as children orsuffered severe violence at the hands of a parent. (Switzer, G.E., Dew, M.A., Thompson,K., Goycoolea, J.M., Derricott, T., & Mullins, S.D. (1999) "Posttraumatic Stress Disorder andService Utilization Among Urban Mental Health Center Clients," Journal of Traumatic Stress, 12(1), 25-39).

• Teenagers with alcohol and drug problems are 6 to 12 times more likely to have ahistory of being physically abused and 18 to 21 times more likely to have been sexually abused than those without alcohol and drug problems. (Clark, H.W.,McClanahan, T.M., Sees, K.L., "Cultural Aspects of Adolescent Addiction and Treatment,"(Spring 1997) Valparaaiso University Law Review, Volume 31:2).

• From a sample of 100 male and female subjects receiving treatment for substance abuse, more than a third was diagnosed with some form of a dissociative disorder stemming from childhood sexual or physical abuse. (Ross, C.A., Kronson, J., Koensgen,S., Barkman, K., Clark, P. and Rockman,G. (1992) "Dissociation Comorbidity in 100 Chemically Dependent Patients," Hospital andCommunityPsychiatry, 43:8, 840-842).

• Without trauma-informed intervention, there can exist a circular self-perpetuatingcycle involving PTSD and substance abuse, where trauma leads to the development of PTSD symptoms, triggering the use of alcohol and drugs to cope…, resulting in higher likelihood of subsequent traumatic events and retraumatization,… triggering heightened substance use and so on. (Najavits, L.M., et al. (1998) "Cocaine Dependence With and Without PTSD in the NIDA Cocaine Collaborative Study," American Journal of Psychiatry

Wrong roads

I have noticed with myself and those I counsel that too often we are impatient with the Lord's process. We expect change to happen far more faster then it really does. Sure there are miracles that happen every day but more often then naught it is through our struggles or wrong roads that we learn and grow. The Lord allows us to learn through our experiences and to sometimes figure things out on our own . I loved the above video taken from Elder Holland's Talk. Where he relays an experience he had with his son backpacking.

Returning from an exploring trip on back country roads, Elder Holland and his son came to an unexpected fork and could not remember which road to take. It was late in the day, and they knew darkness would be enveloping them in unfamiliar territory. Seizing a teaching moment, Jeffrey Holland asked his son to pray for direction. Afterward, he asked his son what he felt, and Matt replied that he felt strongly they should go to the left. Replying that he had felt the same way, his father turned the truck to the left. Ten minutes later, they came to a dead end and returned to take the other route.

Matt thought for a time and then asked his father why they would get that kind of answer to a prayer. His father replied that with the sun going down, that was undoubtedly the quickest way for the Lord to give them information—in this case, which one was the wrong road. Now, though the other road might not be familiar and could be difficult in places, they could proceed confidently, knowing it was the right one, even in the dark.  )

Elder Holland says "When making decisions, God expects us to pray, trust, and be believing and then not give up, panic, or "jump ship" when something doesn't seem to be going right." -Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, Ensign 1995

With panic -things only get worse. For example , yesterday my 16 year old son had his last scheduled behind the wheel class to get his license. They require that you of course have your Permit with you. He tends to loose his permit -and had already had to pay $50 for missing a previous class due to not being able to find his permit. When the teacher arrived at our house -my son realized he could not find his permit again. (Having been through this before I had scanned the permit in and put it on our computer so all he has to do is print it out) He went to print it out and our computer and printer kept freezing. With every minute that passed my son became more anxious and frustrated. I asked him if he had prayed about it . He shouted."Heavenly Father is not going to fix our computer". I begged to differ and said a quick prayer. He on the other hand gave up in frustration and ran out to the car to watch the other driver drive instead. As he pulled out of our street my other son proceeded to print out the permit. How often do we try a few different paths, and then give up right before were actually about to figure things out?