Anger

Today I wanted to focus on anger as part of the healing process and as part of an emotionally healthy life. We all know anger plays a large part in hurting, but did you know that it is also vital to healing?

Yes, in fact, anger is essential to healing. We do not need to consider it a "bad emotion".  This is hard for many of my clients to process-especially when they have witnessed the devastation caused by their abusers unmanaged anger. Most of us have been taught our whole life that anger is a bad thing. It says so right in the scriptures--right?!.

The Savior said it himself....

"He that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another. Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away” (3 Ne. 11:29–30).

I  do agree. When anger is not managed in healthy ways -it is bad for us and for all those around us. There ARE good things that can result from anger, though.  I am here to say the feeling of Anger is not bad.  Yes I said it. The initial feeling of anger is not something to feel guilty about. It is a normal human emotion. It only becomes bad or good depending on how we respond to it.  It is what we do with that feeling that is either bad or good. I like to think of  the feeling of anger as different than the action of anger. The feeling of anger is a natural response to threats, attacks, injustice or disappointment. It is a basic emotion that we all feel. It is like a red light on a dashboard of a car -it tells you when something is wrong, that you have been hurt, that your needs are not being met or something is wrong and needs your attention.  Anger can motivate us to find solutions to a problem. It can be a great mobilizer for positive action.

If anger is not recognized and dealt with-it will cause damage to our health, our relationships, achievements and mental wellness. Some health conditions have been linked to anger that has not been recognized or managed-such as high blood pressure, heart attacks, strokes, cancer and some autoimmune diseases. Two of the most common mental illnesses-Anxiety and Depression- are a result of anger turned inward.

The reality is that anger needs to be acknowledged and processed. As a therapist I have seen over and over again that-

We truly cannot heal what we have not allowed ourselves to feel!!

When we are able to acknowledge and accept our feelings-they become energy  to use in attending to our injuries. We can learn how to use the energy that angry emotions generate, for good. We can use that energy to change our circumstances or to motivate ourselves to take better care of ourselves through self nurturing and empowering ourselves. However you choose to use the energy of your anger, you want to make sure it is working to make your life better. We will be talking more about healthy ways of managing and processing anger.