"For some reason, we think the Atonement of Christ applies only at the end of mortal life to redemption from the Fall, from spiritual death. It is much more than that. It is an ever-present power to call upon in everyday life. When we are racked or harrowed up or tormented by guilt or burdened with grief, He can heal us. While we do not fully understand how the Atonement of Christ was made, we can experience ‘the peace of God, which passeth all understanding’” (“The Touch of the Master’s Hand,”Liahona, July 2001, 26; Ensign, May 2001, 23).

Exhausted? There is Hope

I received a letter from a dear friend of mine that has really been struggling emotionally.  All I have wanted to do is help her and remind her that THERE IS HOPE!

In this letter she mentioned how exhausted she was.  Hearing about her exhaustion reminded me of how exhausted I have felt myself with the entire healing process.  More and more I see that mental health and healing will be a life long journey for me.  At this point in my life I can see some of the great blessings that I've experienced because of the trials I've had but that wasn't always the case.


There were time where I felt taking one more breath was just going to kill me.  The pain, confusion, torment, and misunderstanding of loved ones felt like daggers being stabbed in my heart.  It took every ounce of energy just to get out of bed in the morning, if I even could.  Usually the only thing that got me up was I had to use the bathroom and then would crawl right back in bed.  The thought of doing anything not only emotionally felt exhausting but physically as well.

The thought of people finding out how much I was struggling was one of the only things that kept me going and made it look like I was actually functioning.  However, in reality I was more like a walking zombie full of emotions and depression.  It felt like everywhere I went I was carrying concrete bricks weighed down with my emotional problems.

With being so emotionally and physically exhausted I started to question, "Why do I keep going, why am I still here, this is TOOO hard!"  My thoughts became suicidal.  Having suicidal thoughts seemed to be the only thing that comforted me and took the pain away for a time.  I would think, "Once I die people wont be bothered by me any more.", "I am the problem in all of my relationships so if I'm gone things will be better.", "Once I'm dead the pain will be gone."

There is a common belief that once we die our pain will be removed.  I do believe that our physical pain is removed however, I also believe our emotional and spiritual pain stays with us.  If we have emotional struggles here, we will have them in the next life as well BUT THERE IS HOPE!


You may feel like just taking one more breath of air is too hard to do and you are at or even past your breaking point but I promise you that YOU CAN DO IT!

You can not do it alone but you CAN do it and come out victorious!

More and more I'm learning that I can not overcome my struggles on my own.  Understanding that has been really hard.  Trusting others is something survivors of sexual abuse struggle with because great trust has been completely broken in the past.  There have also been times where I turned to someone for help and I came out feeling more hurt.

I understand turning to those around you is scary.  Start with someone you feel can listen or even preface the conversation with, "I'm really struggling and just need you to listen."  If that is too much, which it has been in the past for me, I decided to see a counselor.

My counselor did much more than just listen.  She taught me skills that have been life saving.  As I've worked hard to learn and apply those skills healing occurred and I felt the effects of the Atonement more in my life.


Now, I know some of you can't afford counseling but there are many other ways to get help from others as well.  How can you receive help from others in a way you feel comfortable with?  Maybe it's from this blog, e-mailing someone you don't know or lives far away, or calling a help line.  Regardless of what you do there is hope for tomorrow. There are self-soothing and coping skills you can learn to help ease the exhaustion and pain.  They really work and medication is also an option. 

I am no longer struggling just to take my next breath or get up in the morning.  Ok, actually that's not true, I will always struggle to get up in the morning but I am happier now.  Joy has come back into my life, relationships have deepened, and I no longer feel like I want to die.  There is hope.  The Atonement is R-E-A-L!  There WILL come a time of relief and rest.  If you are feeling exhausted please know there is hope! 

"An High Priest of Good Things to Come"

"For Times of Trouble" 

"Like A Broken Vessel"