Marital Rape

As I have worked with adult victims of sexual abuse I have found that there are some that continue to be sexually abused within their own marriages and some do not recognize it. Any time someone forces himself on you sexually without your consent, this can be sexual assault or rape. Even if you’re married to or in a relationship with the person who is assaulting or raping you, it is real rape and real assault. Please know that you have the right to say “no,” even to your husband, and you have the right to expect that he listen to you. If your spouse or dating partner is making sexual contact that you do not want and have not agreed to, he is sexually assaulting you. If he is forcing you to have sexual intercourse, he is raping you.

The below information is from:
http://www.rainn.org/public-policy/sexual-assault-issues/marital-rape

Marital rape is a serious form of violence that can have life-shattering effects for its victims. While marital rape has been illegal in every state and the District of Columbia since 1993, it is infrequently prosecuted.

What is Marital Rape?

 

Marital rape occurs when your spouse forces you to take part in any sexual act without your consent. It is an abuse of power by which one spouse attempts to establish dominance and control over the other. Research shows that it can be equally, if not more, emotionally and physically traumatizing than rape by a stranger.

If you have experienced rape by your spouse, you have the right to make a police report.

How is Marital Rape Punished?

 

Before the 1970's criminal codes typically included a “marital rape exemption, but in the 1970's and 80s states began to criminalize marital rape and by July 1993, it was illegal in every state to rape your spouse. States took these three approaches to criminalizing marital rape:

• Some states simply abolished the marital rape exemption by striking it from the books. Under this approach, which most states followed, marital rape is treated the same as other forms of rape.
• Some states explicitly eliminated marriage as a defense to the charge of rape.
• Some states retained their marital rape exemption in the code, but enacted an additional provision creating a separate offense of marital rape (sometimes with lesser penalties than for other forms of rape).

Despite these changes in state laws, marital rape is still prevalent today; and, like other forms of rape, it remains one of the least reported crimes. 

• Some states have imposed extra reporting requirements on victims, e.g., a shorter deadline (30 days or one year) for reporting the incident;
• Some states make it harder to prove marital rape than other forms of rape, e.g., by requiring a showing that force or threats were used (when other laws against rape require only a showing of lack of consent). 

 

For detailed information on your state’s current requirements, consult your state coalition against sexual assault.

What Special Issues Do Victims Face?

• Longer recovery from trauma. Reasons include lack of recognition and ability to share the pain, and the profound sense of a betrayal of trust.
• Higher likelihood of repeated assaults.
• Pressure to stay with perpetrator. A victim with children who lacks outside employment may be financially dependent on the spouse and feel there is no way to leave the situation, and the victim may face additional pressure from family members or friends to remain with the perpetrator.
• Difficulty identifying what happened as a crime. A victim may find it difficult, for cultural reasons, to define the other spouse’s conduct as rape or identify someone she married and loves as a “rapist.”

Please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE for help at any hour of the day or visit the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline.