Creating Your Personal Council

Recently I have been so overcome with emotions its been hard to write and easy to doubt my abilities in even participating in this blog.  I've had to spend more time on myself than I would prefer to self-sooth, calm down, and work through deep personal struggles.  Sometimes I get exhausted just trying to be ok.  The healing process can be overwhelming at times but as alone as I have felt, I was supported in my trials.

I was talking to a young sister in my ward the other day who struggles with depression.  I asked her about her week and she told me about how difficult it was due to facing some very dark moments.  Asking her how she was able to overcome those moments she responded, "I have a friend that when I feel that way I always call him and he knows EXACTLY what to do for me when I can't get myself out of it.  He has this ability to help me when others can't."

I am slowly and painfully learning that I cannot do this (life, heal, succeed) on my own as much as I would like to.  In the church we often focus on the importance of councils and working together to receive guidance, inspiration, and direction.

"All have stewardships that require large amounts of their time, talent, and energy. But none is left to do it alone. God, the Master Organizer, has inspired a creation of a system of committees and councils. If understood and put to proper use, this system will decrease the burden on all individual leaders and will extend the reach and the impact of their ministry through the combined help of others." (Counseling with our Councils, Ballard) 

Talking to this sister about her week I thought about the importance of creating our own personal council in the path to healing.  There are those in our life that can assist us in the healing process, lift us out of darkness, and be the support that we need in troubling times. 

Creating a council will take effort, time, and training but it is worth it.  Your probably already have a council created but might not have distinguished it as such.  A few of the people that I consider to have in my council: a close friend, counselor, bishop, and the Savior. These are all individuals that do not have to live with me daily.  Spouses, children, and family members can also be great forms of support but it is beneficial to have help from difference sources. Sometimes my council is larger with greater support and other times I struggle to find the support I need without feeling like I am a burden or overwhelming to others. 

"In my experience, lives are blessed when leaders make wise use of committees and councils. They move the work of the Lord forward much faster and farther, like a fine automobile operating at peak efficiency. Committee and council members are unified. Together they experience a much more pleasant trip along the highway of Church service." (Counseling with our Councils, Ballard) 

I truly believe healing from childhood sexual abuse requires us to allow others into our lives and let them positively impact us.  This is hard as we have been taught over and over to not trust and/or be extremely cautious.  Those in our personal councils will make mistakes.  They may say or do something triggering or hurtful but it is important to have patience with ourselves and others in the healing process.  Easier said than done I know.  

As in any council education and training is important.  This can be hard coming from a survivor because often we are learning as we go as well. However it is important to share what you as the survivor are learning about along with your needs, triggers, successes and so forth.  One reason I love this blog is that it provides education for both the survivor and those who are seeking to help and understand childhood sexual abuse.  

 "I have spoken here of heavenly help, of angels dispatched to bless us in time of need. But when we speak of those who are instruments in the hand of God, we are reminded that not all angels are from the other side of the veil. Some of them we walk with and talk with—here, now, every day. Some of them reside in our own neighborhoods. Some of them gave birth to us, and in my case, one of them consented to marry me. Indeed heaven never seems closer than when we see the love of God manifested in the kindness and devotion of people so good and so pure that angelic is the only word that comes to mind." (The Ministry of Angels, Holland)

"May we all believe more readily in, and have more gratitude for, the Lord’s promise as contained in one of President Monson’s favorite scriptures: “I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, … my Spirit shall be in your [heart], and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.” ¹⁴ In the process of praying for those angels to attend us, may we all try to be a little more angelic ourselves—with a kind word, a strong arm, a declaration of faith and “the covenant wherewith [we] have covenanted.” ¹⁵ Perhaps then we can be emissaries sent from God when someone, perhaps a Primary child, is crying, “Darkness … afraid … river … alone.” To this end I pray in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen." (The Ministry of Angels, Holland)