Humility

From experience I'm learning humility in the healing process is extremely important.

"To be humble is to recognize gratefully our dependence on the Lord—to understand that we have constant need for His support. Humility is an acknowledgment that our talents and abilities are gifts from God. It is not a sign of weakness, timidity, or fear; it is an indication that we know where our true strength lies. We can be both humble and fearless. We can be both humble and courageous.

 

Jesus Christ is our greatest example of humility. During His mortal ministry, He always acknowledged that His strength came because of His dependence on His Father. He said: “I can of mine own self do nothing. . . . I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me” (John 5:30). The Lord will strengthen us as we humble ourselves before Him. James taught: “God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. . . . Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up” (James 4:6, 10)." (True to the Faith (2004), 86-87)

I learn more every day about humility.  I am not an expert but I do know that being humble in the process of healing from childhood sexual abuse and helping others to heal not only brings strength but miracles.  Many times I have felt like I was at a dead end.  Where do I go and how do I get help?  I've found that as I've humbled myself and sought out help from others I was able to see at least a little further down the path towards progression.  

“I returned to Elder Lee and told him that I saw no way to move in the direction I was counseled to go. He said, ‘The trouble with you is you want to see the end from the beginning.’ I replied that I would like to see at least a step or two ahead. Then came the lesson of a lifetime: ‘You must learn to walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness; then the light will appear and show the way before you." (President Boyd K. Packer, “The Edge of the Light,”)

It's hard for me to describe how to be humble as a survivor and easier for me to show how humility in those around me has helped me to grow.  Let me tell you a little bit about my counselor.  I prefer to use the word counselor instead of therapist for many different reasons but one is it honestly just makes going to counseling or "therapy" feel less intimidating.

 

I have the perfect counselor for me at this time in my life BUT she is not perfect, very close though.  I know this and so does she.  I have seen how much her humility has not only sparked new avenues of healing but has empowered and given me strength. There have been times while in a session where she will ask me a question accompanied with, "And I don't know the answer either."  It has been relieving to know that together we are discovering the answers to progress rather than feeling like I am less than her in any way.  

President Hinckley mentioned in the clip below that we can show humility by lifting others as high or higher than we are.  For survivors of childhood sexual abuse, or at least for me, it is natural to feel less than, broken, discarded, or just incapable of normal everyday activities due to triggers.  Those who have impacted me the most to heal have been those who have lifted me up, taught me as we learned together, and were willing to succor me even with having weaknesses or lack of knowledge. 

Experiencing others humility has helped me to trust them and others more.  Our ultimate example of humility is that of our Savior.  In times of need, distress, and joy we must turn to our Savior, learn of Him, and be as He would have us be. Family members might not understand how to support a loved one with the trial of sexual abuse but they can find guidance as they kneel in prayer, humbly asking God for help.  Humility is not only vital for the survivor of childhood sexual abuse but also for all those involved in the process of healing.