Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Agency and Answers:Recognizing Revelation

Excerpts from Richard G. Scott's Ensign talk  Oct 1989 

Principles of Prayer:
Communication with our Father in Heaven is not a trivial matter. It is a sacred privilege. It is based upon unchanging principles. When we receive help from our Father in Heaven, it is in response to faith, obedience, and the proper use of agency.

It is a mistake to assume that every prayer we offer will be answered immediately. Some prayers require considerable effort on our part. True, sometimes impressions come when we have not specifically sought them. They generally concern something we need to know and are not otherwise able to find out.

We are here on earth to gain experience we can obtain in no other way. We are given the opportunity to grow, to develop, and to gain spiritual maturity. To do that, we must learn to apply truth. How we face challenges and resolve difficult problems is crucially important to our happiness.

To better understand prayer, I have listened to the counsel of others, pondered the scriptures, and studied the lives of prophets and others. Yet what seems most helpful is seeing in my mind a child approaching trustingly a loving, kind, wise, understanding Father, who wants us to succeed.

Don’t worry about your clumsily expressed feelings. Just talk to your Father. He hears every prayer and answers it in His way.

When we explain a problem and a proposed solution, sometimes He answers yes, sometimes no. Often He withholds an answer, not for lack of concern, but because He loves us—perfectly. He wants us to apply truths He has given us. For us to grow, we need to trust our ability to make correct decisions. We need to do what we feel is right. In time, He will answer. He will not fail us.

I have described the absolute reality of our relationship with our Father. There is nothing about us He does not know. He is conscious of our every need and could provide all of the answers. Yet, because His purpose is our eternal happiness, He encourages us to make the correct choices.

Three Ways to Find Answers
1. Look for Evidence That He Has Already Answered You
Like many of us, Oliver Cowdery did not recognize the evidence of answers to prayers already given by the Lord. To open his—and our—eyes, this revelation was given through Joseph Smith:
“Blessed art thou for what thou hast done; for thou hast inquired of me, and behold, as often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instruction of my Spirit. If it had not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the place where thou art at this time.
“Behold, thou knowest that thou hast inquired of me and I did enlighten thy mind; and now I tell thee these things that thou mayest know that thou hast been enlightened by the Spirit of truth” (D&C 6:14–15; emphasis added).

If you feel that God has not answered your prayers, ponder these scriptures—then carefully look for evidence in your own life of His having already answered you.

2. Pay Attention to Feelings
To help each of us recognize answers given, the Lord said:“If you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things.
“Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter?” (D&C 6:22–23; emphasis added).
The Lord provides further insight by counseling us to study a problem out in our mind and then to ask if it be right:
“If it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.
“But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought” (D&C 9:8–9; emphasis added).

3. Act When He Withholds an Answer
It is vitally important to recognize that the Lord also responds a third way to prayer by withholding an answer when the prayer is offered. Why would He do that?

He is our perfect Father. He loves us beyond our capacity to understand. He knows what is best for us. He sees the end from the beginning. He wants us to act to gain needed experience:

When He answers yes, it is to give us confidence.
When He answers no, it is to prevent error.
When He withholds an answer, it is to have us grow through faith in Him, obedience to His commandments, and a willingness to act on truth. We are expected to assume accountability by acting on a decision that is consistent with His teachings without prior confirmation. We are not to sit passively waiting or to murmur because the Lord has not spoken. We are to act.

Most often what we have chosen to do is right. He will confirm the correctness of our choices His way. That confirmation generally comes through packets of help found along the way. We discover them by being spiritually sensitive. They are like notes from a loving Father as evidence of His approval. If, in trust, we begin something that is not right, He will let us know before we have gone too far. We sense that help by recognizing troubled or uneasy feelings.

Nephi’s efforts to obtain the plates of brass show how the principles work (see 1 Nephi 3:6–7). After two unsuccessful attempts, Nephi remained confident. He crept into the city toward the house of Laban without all the answers. He observed, “I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do,” significantly adding, “nevertheless I went forth” (1 Nephi 4:6–7; emphasis added).

Nephi was willing to try time and again, using his best efforts. He expressed faith that he would be helped. He refused to be discouraged. But because he acted, had confidence in the Lord, was obedient, and properly used his agency, he received guidance. He was inspired step after step to success, and in his mother’s words was “given … power [to] accomplish the thing which the Lord hath commanded” (1 Nephi 5:8; emphasis added).
Nephi knew he was required to confide in God, to exercise faith, and to act so that he could receive help, step by step. He did not murmur nor ask for a full explanation. But, observe particularly, he did not wait passively for help. He acted! By following spiritual law, he was inspired and given power to act.

Trusting God’s Will and Way
Sometimes answers to prayer are not recognized because we are too intent on wanting confirmation of our own desires. We fail to see that the Lord would have us do something else. Be careful to seek His will.
I confess I don’t know how to make a correct decision except where there is righteousness and trust in a Heavenly Father. The principles simply will not work when agency is intentionally used at variance with the will of God. If there is unrepented sin, we are left to our own devices to flounder and struggle on our own. We can be rescued through our own repentance.
When we seek inspiration to help make decisions, the Lord gives gentle promptings. These require us to think, to exercise faith, to work, to struggle at times, and to act. Seldom does the whole answer to a decisively important matter or complex problem come all at once. More often, it comes a piece at a time, without the end in sight.

This counsel about prayer is true. I have tested it thoroughly in the laboratory of my own personal life. I have discovered that what sometimes seems an impenetrable barrier to communication is a giant step to be taken in trust. He will answer your prayers. He is your loving Father; you are His beloved child. He loves you perfectly and wants to help you."

Monday, June 23, 2014

Addiction

Taken from  https://rainn.org/get-information/effects-of-sexual-assault/substance-abuse

"Victims of rape or sexual assault may turn to alcohol or other substances in an attempt to relieve their emotional suffering. In the U.S., victims of sexual assault report higher levels of psychological distress and the consumption of alcohol than non-victims, in part, to self-medicate. Some victims use substances to cope with the reality of what happened to them or to cope with the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, a common reaction to an extreme situation like sexual assault. However, it is not a healthy way to deal with the trauma of sexual assault and can cause additional problems, such as addiction or dependence, that hinder the healing process.

Survivors of sexual assault or sexual abuse in childhood may abuse drugs to help them “numb out” and push away the painful memories of sexual violence. Victims may also turn to drugs instead of true recovery resources, such as counseling; they may not think that friends or family will understand them, they may not know where to access recovery resources, or they may be embarrassed to talk about what happened.
Friends and family of sexual assault victims may be among the first to recognize the signs of substance abuse. Early recognition increases chances for successful treatment. 

Warning signs include:

  • Giving up past activities or hobbies
  • Spending time with new friends who may be a negative influence
  • Declining grades or performance at work
  • Aggressiveness, irritability
  • Forgetfulness
  • Disappearing money or valuables from family and friends
  • Lying
  • Depression or hopelessness
  • Avoiding friends and family
  • Drinking and driving or getting in trouble with the law
  • Suspension from school or work
  • When compared to non-victims, rape survivors are 3.4 times more likely to use marijuana, 6 times more likely to use cocaine, and 10 times more likely to use other major drugs.

Finding Treatment

Most substance abusers believe they can stop using drugs on their own, but many who try do not succeed. Research shows that long-term drug use alters brain function and strengthens compulsions to use drugs. This craving continues even after the drug use stops. Because of these ongoing cravings, the most important component of treatment is preventing relapse.

It may be helpful for a survivor to share their experiences and concerns with a qualified service provider (i.e. counselor or psychologist). A general physician can suggest community resources as well as prescribe medications to control cravings and withdrawal symptoms while the user seeks further help.

If you feel you are suffering from substance abuse:

  • Reach out to a trusted friend or family member and ask for help.
  • Contact the free Substance Abuse Treatment Referral Helpline. 1.800.662.HELP(4357)
  • Contact your doctor.
  • Call 911 or go to a hospital’s emergency department immediately if you are suffering from severe abdominal pain, chest pain, rapid heartbeat, severe tremors, numbness, or suicidal thoughts.

If you know or suspect someone you love is suffering from substance abuse:

  • Contact the free Substance Abuse Treatment Referral Helpline for support and advice on helping your loved one.   1.800.662.HELP (4357)
  • Do not “cover up” for your loved one. It is important that he or she get the help that they deserve.
  • Choose a time to speak with your loved one when he or she is sober, when both of you are fairly calm, and when you have a chance to talk in private. It is also best to speak to your loved one shortly after a substance-related problem has occurred (like a serious family argument or accident).
  • Gather information in advance about treatment options in your community. If the person is willing to get help, call right away for an appointment, and offer to go with him or her for support."

Addictions don't necessarily have to always be to substances- though. There are other forms of addiction such as to food, to anger, to work, to pornography, or to sex. Elder Uchdtorf talked about addictions in April  2014 General Conference. He said, 

"Addictions often begin subtly. Addictions are thin threads of repeated action that weave themselves into thick bonds of habit. Negative habits have the potential to become consuming addictions.

These binding chains of addiction can have many forms, like pornography alcohol, sex, drugs, tobacco, gambling, food, work, the Internet, or virtual reality. Satan, our common enemy, has many favorite tools he uses to rob us of our divine potential to accomplish our mission in the Lord’s kingdom.


But what of those who find themselves in the grip of addiction?


Please know, first of all, that there is hope. Seek help from loved ones, Church leaders, and trained counselors.The Church provides addiction recovery help through local Church leaders, the Internet, and in some areas, LDS Family Services.


Always remember, with the Savior’s help, you can break free from addiction. It may be a long, difficult path, but the Lord will not give up on you. He loves you. Jesus Christ suffered the Atonement to help you change, to free you from the captivity of sin.The most important thing is to keep trying—sometimes it takes several attempts before people find success. So don’t give up. Don’t lose faith. Keep your heart close to the Lord, and He will give you the power of deliverance. He will make you free.


My dear brethren, always keep far away from habits that could lead to addiction. Those who do so will be able to devote their heart, might, mind, and strength to the service of God."  April 2014 Are You Sleeping through the Restoration?

For more information on the Addiction Recovery Program got to,  

http://addictionrecovery.lds.org/     

Sunday, June 22, 2014

More on "Light"


A common theme I hear as I counsel-is the feeling of darkness. The gospel has given us some tools to help do away with this darkness. Christ is often referred to in the scriptures, as the "Light"

He says-“I will also be your light in the wilderness; … wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led” (1 Nephi 17:13)

another solar crank flashlight


That said ---Lloyd Baird says that  "God is not in the flash light business."-Lloyd Baird , Stepping Into the Darkness (March 2012)

What does he mean by that? He says -

"In our premortal existence our challenge was to learn how to walk by obedience. We were given choices with clear explanations of the options and consequences. We chose correctly - to come to earth and learn from our experiences and how to walk by faith,

Often though, we feel if we just had a powerful flashlight to peer into the darkness, it would be easier. But that is not how this existence works. Even though we might not be totally clear where the path leads or what lies ahead, we are supposed to make choices, get on with it, step into the darkness and learn as we go. But as in all things, the Lord has not left us without help as we go forward. He has provided a process for learning and growing"

Stepping into the darkness I think is the hardest part--especially that very first step. Knowing that we are stepping into the unknown takes a lot of faith and hope, but as we press forward the scriptures tell us blessings follow. My favorite scripture says so.


2 Nephi 31:20   20 Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.  Stake Conference was broadcast from Salt Lake City to 36 Stakes in Nevada.


That step into the darkness is different for everyone. Think for a minute-what is that step- in your life? What is the step that you have not been able to push forward with. What step will take all the faith and courage you have. 

I know for me-that step has been 6 years in the making. I have struggled with my weight my entire life and had lots of success loosing weight --not so much success maintaining. As a result, if you were to add all the weight I have lost and then gained back it would be about 350 pounds throughout my life.  

About six years ago-I just gave up. I lost all hope and decided I was done trying. But being heavy for 7 years is taking its toll on my knees and my body. (getting older doesn't help either) I know that I need to be healthier and I know what it takes for me to do that and I lack all faith that I can do it and maintain it--because I have ALWAYS failed. The longest I maintained a healthy weight was 4 years and it was hard. It never got easier for me. The entire 4 years I felt that I was living a life of deprivation and you can only maintain that for so long. I don't want to bore you with my story --but I use it as just one example of something in my life that would take great courage for me to do. I have NO faith in my abilities to succeed and no hope. I have failed too many times. I have convinced myself that taking that first step into the darkness won't be worth it -because I already know how it ends up. Do you have something like this in your own life? What would it take to get the courage to take that first step? I don't know the answer --I have done the fasting, the blessings, the prayers, the temple attendance, the scripture study, the counseling, the medications, and more. I go back to my dad, Lloyd Baird's talk where he says we are supposed to step forward -and then "we learn as we go". That said I do believe that resting is ok sometimes. My 6 years of resting have not been useless. I have learned much about myself and about god. 

So take a rest --and then take that first step into the 
darkness. 

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Every Day Anxiety or an Anxiety Disorder

Everyday Anxiety
Anxiety Disorder
Worry about paying bills, landing a job, a romantic breakup, or other important life eventsConstant and unsubstantiated worry that causes significant distress and interferes with daily life
Embarrassment or self-consciousness in an uncomfortable or awkward social situationAvoiding social situations for fear of being judged, embarrassed, or humiliated
A case of nerves or sweating before a big test, business presentation, stage performance, or other significant eventSeemingly out-of-the-blue panic attacks and the preoccupation with the fear of having another one
Realistic fear of a dangerous object, place, or situationIrrational fear or avoidance of an object, place, or situation that poses little or no threat of danger
Making sure that you are healthy and living in a safe hazard-free environmentPerforming uncontrollable repetitive actions such as excessive cleaning or checking, or touching and arranging
Anxiety, sadness, or difficulty sleeping immediately after a traumatic eventRecurring nightmares, flashbacks, or emotional numbing related to a traumatic event that occurred several months or years before
Researchers are learning that anxiety disorders run in families, and that they have a biological basis, much like allergies or diabetes and other disorders. Anxiety disorders may develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events. For a great resource on Anxiety go to .. http://www.adaa.org/