More on "Light"

A common theme I hear as I counsel-is the feeling of darkness. The gospel has given us some tools to help do away with this darkness. Christ is often referred to in the scriptures, as the "Light"

He says-“I will also be your light in the wilderness; … wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led” (1 Nephi 17:13)

That said ---Lloyd Baird says that  "God is not in the flash light business."-Lloyd Baird , Stepping Into the Darkness (March 2012)

What does he mean by that? He says -

"In our premortal existence our challenge was to learn how to walk by obedience. We were given choices with clear explanations of the options and consequences. We chose correctly - to come to earth and learn from our experiences and how to walk by faith,

Often though, we feel if we just had a powerful flashlight to peer into the darkness, it would be easier. But that is not how this existence works. Even though we might not be totally clear where the path leads or what lies ahead, we are supposed to make choices, get on with it, step into the darkness and learn as we go. But as in all things, the Lord has not left us without help as we go forward. He has provided a process for learning and growing"

Stepping into the darkness I think is the hardest part--especially that very first step. Knowing that we are stepping into the unknown takes a lot of faith and hope, but as we press forward the scriptures tell us blessings follow. My favorite scripture says so.

That step into the darkness is different for everyone. Think for a minute-what is that step- in your life? What is the step that you have not been able to push forward with. What step will take all the faith and courage you have. 

I know for me-that step has been 6 years in the making. I have struggled with my weight my entire life and had lots of success loosing weight --not so much success maintaining. As a result, if you were to add all the weight I have lost and then gained back it would be about 350 pounds throughout my life.  

About six years ago-I just gave up. I lost all hope and decided I was done trying. But being heavy for 7 years is taking its toll on my knees and my body. (getting older doesn't help either) I know that I need to be healthier and I know what it takes for me to do that and I lack all faith that I can do it and maintain it--because I have ALWAYS failed. The longest I maintained a healthy weight was 4 years and it was hard. It never got easier for me. The entire 4 years I felt that I was living a life of deprivation and you can only maintain that for so long. I don't want to bore you with my story --but I use it as just one example of something in my life that would take great courage for me to do. I have NO faith in my abilities to succeed and no hope. I have failed too many times. I have convinced myself that taking that first step into the darkness won't be worth it -because I already know how it ends up. Do you have something like this in your own life? What would it take to get the courage to take that first step? I don't know the answer --I have done the fasting, the blessings, the prayers, the temple attendance, the scripture study, the counseling, the medications, and more. I go back to my dad, Lloyd Baird's talk where he says we are supposed to step forward -and then "we learn as we go". That said I do believe that resting is ok sometimes. My 6 years of resting have not been useless. I have learned much about myself and about god. 

So take a rest --and then take that first step into the 

darkness.