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Wednesday, July 30, 2014
The Hope of God's Light
As I was counseling today I said something that I think is true and wanted to share. I said that although I will always continue to study new theories and books for my profession-I believe that healing ultimately comes back to some of the same basic things. I reflected later more on what I thought those basic things were...this is the list I came up with.
1. Self compassion
2. Patience with yourself and the healing process
3. Taking small steps forward
4. Having faith in god and in the power of the atonement.
We have had many great advances in the mental health field and I know that we will continue to learn more and more about how our brains work and about emotions and healing. I do believe that there is purpose in using professional help through the process--but ultimately it is the combination of professional help and the above list- that leads to healing.
I liked this video as it described a young man and his journey to find healing. I especially liked how he said that ,
"Little by little god gives you as much as you can handle".
It is easy to get impatient with ourselves and the process. But I do know that god knows what we can handle. I also believe that it is not always the end goal -but actually the process of getting there-- that teaches us the most.
1. Self compassion
2. Patience with yourself and the healing process
3. Taking small steps forward
4. Having faith in god and in the power of the atonement.
We have had many great advances in the mental health field and I know that we will continue to learn more and more about how our brains work and about emotions and healing. I do believe that there is purpose in using professional help through the process--but ultimately it is the combination of professional help and the above list- that leads to healing.
I liked this video as it described a young man and his journey to find healing. I especially liked how he said that ,
"Little by little god gives you as much as you can handle".
It is easy to get impatient with ourselves and the process. But I do know that god knows what we can handle. I also believe that it is not always the end goal -but actually the process of getting there-- that teaches us the most.
Some More On Shame.
I have been thinking today about how powerful an emotion shame is and how it is truly toxic to our happiness and emotional health. I have referred to Bradshaw's work on shame in past bloggings. He was one who studied and wrote much about shame and penned the term Toxic Shame. He says:
" To heal our toxic shame we must come out of hiding. As long as our shame is hidden, there is nothing we can do about it. In order to change our toxic shame we must embrace it. There is an old therapeutic adage that states, “The only way out is through.” Embracing our shame involves pain. Pain is what we try to avoid. In fact, most of our neurotic behavior is due to the avoidance of legitimate pain. We try to find an easier way. This is perfectly reasonable. "
Shame feeds on secrecy and hiding. What then can you do today to externalize your shame? What does this mean to you ? How can you go about doing this? What has worked for you?
" To heal our toxic shame we must come out of hiding. As long as our shame is hidden, there is nothing we can do about it. In order to change our toxic shame we must embrace it. There is an old therapeutic adage that states, “The only way out is through.” Embracing our shame involves pain. Pain is what we try to avoid. In fact, most of our neurotic behavior is due to the avoidance of legitimate pain. We try to find an easier way. This is perfectly reasonable. "
In the case of shame, the more we avoid it, the worse it gets. We cannot change our “internalized” shame until we “externalize” it.
Shame feeds on secrecy and hiding. What then can you do today to externalize your shame? What does this mean to you ? How can you go about doing this? What has worked for you?
Sunday, July 6, 2014
The Atonement Covers all Pain-Kent F. Richards Ensign April 2011
I have pasted parts of this wonderful talk below -feel free to go to LDS.org for the full talk.
"I have pondered about the purpose of pain. None of us is immune from experiencing pain. I have seen people cope with it very differently. Some turn away from God in anger, and others allow their suffering to bring them closer to God.
Like you, I have experienced pain myself. Pain is a gauge of the healing process. It often teaches us patience. Perhaps that is why we use the term patient in referring to the sick.
Elder Orson F. Whitney wrote: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. … It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.”
As Elder Dallin H. Oaks also taught: “All that will come may be “clasped in the arms of Jesus.” All souls can be healed by His power. All pain can be soothed. In Him, we can “find rest unto [our] souls.” Our mortal circumstances may not immediately change, but our pain, worry, suffering, and fear can be swallowed up in His peace and healing balm."
Much of our suffering is not necessarily our fault. Unexpected events, contradicting or disappointing circumstances, interrupting illness, and even death surround us and penetrate our mortal experience. Additionally, we may suffer afflictions because of the actions of others. Lehi noted that Jacob had “suffered … much sorrow, because of the rudeness of [his] brethren.” Opposition is part of Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness. We all encounter enough to bring us to an awareness of our Father’s love and of our need for the Savior’s help.
The Savior is not a silent observer. He Himself knows personally and infinitely the pain we face.
Alma also prophesied that “he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and … he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. …“That his bowels may be filled with mercy, … that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.”“He suffereth the pains of all men, yea, the pains of every living creature, both men, women, and children.”
Late one night lying in a hospital bed......I read those verses over and over again. I pondered: “How is it done? For whom? What is required to qualify? Is it like forgiveness of sin? Do we have to earn His love and help?” As I pondered, I came to understand that during His mortal life Christ chose to experience pains and afflictions in order to understand us. Perhaps we also need to experience the depths of mortality in order to understand Him and our eternal purposes.
Sometimes in the depth of pain, we are tempted to ask, “Is there no balm in Gilead; is there no physician there?” I testify the answer is yes, there is a physician. The Atonement of Jesus Christ covers all these conditions and purposes of mortality.
President Henry B. Eyring taught: “It will comfort us when we must wait in distress for the Savior’s promised relief that He knows, from experience, how to heal and help us. … And faith in that power will give us patience as we pray and work and wait for help. He could have known how to succor us simply by revelation, but He chose to learn by His own personal experience.”
I bear testimony that He is our Redeemer, our Friend, our Advocate, the Great Physician, the Great Healer. In Him we can find peace and solace in and from our pain and our sins if we will but come unto Him with humble hearts. His “grace is sufficient.”
"I have pondered about the purpose of pain. None of us is immune from experiencing pain. I have seen people cope with it very differently. Some turn away from God in anger, and others allow their suffering to bring them closer to God.
Like you, I have experienced pain myself. Pain is a gauge of the healing process. It often teaches us patience. Perhaps that is why we use the term patient in referring to the sick.
Elder Orson F. Whitney wrote: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. … It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.”
As Elder Dallin H. Oaks also taught: “All that will come may be “clasped in the arms of Jesus.” All souls can be healed by His power. All pain can be soothed. In Him, we can “find rest unto [our] souls.” Our mortal circumstances may not immediately change, but our pain, worry, suffering, and fear can be swallowed up in His peace and healing balm."
Much of our suffering is not necessarily our fault. Unexpected events, contradicting or disappointing circumstances, interrupting illness, and even death surround us and penetrate our mortal experience. Additionally, we may suffer afflictions because of the actions of others. Lehi noted that Jacob had “suffered … much sorrow, because of the rudeness of [his] brethren.” Opposition is part of Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness. We all encounter enough to bring us to an awareness of our Father’s love and of our need for the Savior’s help.
The Savior is not a silent observer. He Himself knows personally and infinitely the pain we face.
Alma also prophesied that “he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and … he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. …“That his bowels may be filled with mercy, … that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.”“He suffereth the pains of all men, yea, the pains of every living creature, both men, women, and children.”
Late one night lying in a hospital bed......I read those verses over and over again. I pondered: “How is it done? For whom? What is required to qualify? Is it like forgiveness of sin? Do we have to earn His love and help?” As I pondered, I came to understand that during His mortal life Christ chose to experience pains and afflictions in order to understand us. Perhaps we also need to experience the depths of mortality in order to understand Him and our eternal purposes.
Sometimes in the depth of pain, we are tempted to ask, “Is there no balm in Gilead; is there no physician there?” I testify the answer is yes, there is a physician. The Atonement of Jesus Christ covers all these conditions and purposes of mortality.
President Henry B. Eyring taught: “It will comfort us when we must wait in distress for the Savior’s promised relief that He knows, from experience, how to heal and help us. … And faith in that power will give us patience as we pray and work and wait for help. He could have known how to succor us simply by revelation, but He chose to learn by His own personal experience.”
I bear testimony that He is our Redeemer, our Friend, our Advocate, the Great Physician, the Great Healer. In Him we can find peace and solace in and from our pain and our sins if we will but come unto Him with humble hearts. His “grace is sufficient.”
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