Why it is important we remember?!
A different Perspective
Yesterday the Sacrament meeting talks in my ward were all focused on remembering. Remembering the hand of God in our lives, remembering how much Heavenly Father has blessed us, remembering the growth we've experienced, and who we've become because of the Atonement.
I couldn't help but think of this blog and my most recent struggles with it. The last 8 months I've really struggled with writing or doing much of anything on it besides reading Jennifer's posts. Life has been going really well for me lately. There have defiantly been struggles and trials, don't get me wrong, but overall life has been good. Why in the world would I want to write about part of my life that brings so much emotion and would have the potential to bring me down from the "high on life" feelings I've been having?
Thank goodness for repentance and change! From the talks I listened to I better understand the importance of remembering, even the bad things. My purpose for being part of this blog is to not only help myself and work through all of this with the support of others but it's also to help YOU and regretfully I haven't been doing that.
I often tell myself how much I don't know, I stink at writing, and what am I thinking doing this?! I'm putting myself out there and fear if someone will connect the dots and figure out I am the author of such an emotional smorgasbord. I have to say though, when I look back and remember things I've written in the past about childhood sexual abuse, it's empowering to me. I can see in some of my post how far I've come. Trust me, I know I have MUCH more to go but remembering where I was just a year ago to where I am now has given me hope for the future and energy and strength to keep working on healing and to not give up.
As much as I don't like remembering the past, there are great blessing that can come of it. Those blessings can be different for each person and memory. Remembering some horrific experiences from my passed has allowed me to work on healing them. When I didn't always remember the abuse that happened, which it's ok if you don't, it was hard for me to understand why I was feeling a certain way, how to work through a trigger and often times I would question my sanity and the choices I was making because I just didn't understand. Allowing myself to remember the pain as it came opened the doors for me to work on the emotions associated to those memories and heal instead of trying to block it out or hide it away somewhere.
Today I'm grateful to remember that I can do hard things and that little by little each effort in working on healing really does make a difference.
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