Friday, September 4, 2015

Guest Post - Alice Fox, "Emotional Free Space"

Alice Fox here again, 

     It's been an unpleasant weekend. It's been bad for many reasons, but right now I am gonna share about forgiveness. Now don't go thinking I am telling you that ya gotta go forgive every person in the world right now. I ain't that naive. I just wanna share my thoughts on what forgiveness is, in a nice and ambiguous "Lets make our relationships with others better." sort of way. 

     My best friend hurt my feelings a few days ago. It isn't okay to hurt peoples feeling, but it is okay to make mistakes. She is still a good person, and I still have the right to have hurt. I think that is just the unpleasant way being human goes. When all of these feelings were going around my brain I kept trying to understand why she chose what she did. I think this, plus Jesus, is the key to figuring out how to forgive people.

     When we step back and try to understand the reason for peoples actions we are willing to try and see as them as people, not actions. Understanding doesn't make what someone has done right or wrong. This simply puts them back into being a human in our own perceptions. Empathizing takes you out of thinking of them as mean, critical, selfish, cowardly, or thoughtless. Empathizing takes you into thinking of them as a person who chose to be mean, or a person who chose to be critical, or selfish, or cowardly. Perhaps this seems like a small difference, but to me this helps me remember that they are a person who acts, not just a thing that does. This simply helps me let in more emotional free space. 

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