Hearts as Gold: The Process of Excavating and Refining Gold

"And He will heal those who trust Him, and make their hearts as gold."

 

Christ can make our hearts as gold through the power of the Atonement.  The process of excavating and turning gold into beauty is a refining process.  It is not done in one day.  It takes work, HARD work but it is worth it.  

In “Refined in our Trials” by James E. Faust he mentions, “First gold can have many impurities. Heat separates the impurities from the gold, leaving the gold pure and beautiful. This process is compared to what happens to us when we overcome trials, and bear testimony of what the Apostle Peter taught: “The trial of your faith [is] much more precious than of gold that perisheth.”

All of us have the potential to have our hearts become as gold regardless of what we have been through, done, or experienced in our lives.  As I have been thinking about this blog I can see how the song “Consider the Lilies” is very applicable.  We will be changing the URL or web address from www.jenniferwestlcsw.blogspot.com to www.HeartsasGold.blogspot.com and work on setting up a website which will be www.HeartsasGold.com.  We are not there yet but we’re working on it. 

As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse I have felt far from being as gold and definitely of much less value. I was devalued and treated as an object rather than a daughter of God. Refining gold is a hard, dirty process and so is the healing process.  There are times I've felt it wasn't worth trying to heal, trying to overcome the beast of abuse because regardless of what I did I was still effected by it in some way. 

During the healing process in overcoming childhood sexual abuse we are able to purge ourselves from the pain and effects caused by others because of the Savior's atoning sacrifice for us.  Often refining is referred to becoming more pure through our afflictions, "For, behold, I have refined thee, I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." (1 Nephi 20:10) 

Being blunt, childhood sexual abuse sucks, there is nothing good about it.  It has caused the greatest pain in my life.  I've questioned, "Whats wrong with me? Why can't I handle this? Why do I struggle with ____?" I've pleaded that those I care about wouldn't feel the effects of the abuse but they do because there are things that I just struggle with, regardless of how hard I push myself.  For example, there are times when I have a hard time with any type of physical contact and wasn't capable of giving someone a hug when they need it from me.  In these simple moments I've felt I was allowing the abuse to effect those I cared about which was devastating. 

Survivors of abuse are often very hard on themselves, as you can see above, but it is when we can learn to love ourselves as the Savior does these difficult questions are "purged" and we become more refined, whole, and heal. I have found that we must learn how to have compassion and patience for ourselves in this process.  This has been key to my heart changing and becoming "as gold".  There is great power that comes as we are compassionate and patient.  It is not easy but when I am able to take a step back, validate my emotions, and be kind to myself when I feel the effects of the abuse the Atonement seeps in and healing occurs.  I'm learning that refinement or healing does not come from just pounding gold with a hammer but rather from intense heat and a careful step by step process. 

It has always been difficult for me to see the “silver lining” with the painful experiences I have gone through but knowing that my heart will one day be as gold as I seek to be refined by the Atonement gives me hope.  I am not worthless, dirty, or a horrible person. The shame I feel by being sexually abused is removed in each step of the refining(healing) process.

"There are those who know pain and sorrow because of loss of loved ones; who know spiritual sorrow because children go astray; who experience loss of health, financial reverses, and emotional distress, and yet, like Job, resolve, “When he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold” (Job 23:10)."  God Will Have a Tried People - Howard W. Hunter

There is a verse in How Firm a Foundation that helps to describe this tender process:

 

When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,

My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.

The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design

Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

This clip shows the process of excavating and refining gold. It is from the 70's and is a little humorous but I highly recommend watching it as you think about the refining process of healing from childhood sexual abuse.