More on Objectification

"To be objectified is to be dehumanized. One must be seen as an object before being manipulated and preyed upon. When a child is raised inside a system of manipulation, as an object, that child will grow to find her value in serving others. A life of service can be a healthy choice when it is made from the point of pre-existing self-value. When value is only obtained through service to others, it is validation of existence. Objects have no initiative of their own but are wholly dependent upon the will of others to move them. A fully objectified individual cannot realize her own individualism. She is crippled and unable to achieve full independence. " http://emergingfrombroken.com/to-be-objectified-is-to-be-dehumanized-by-pam-witzemann/#sthash.XH1zqhcB.dpuf


I thought that was a very insightful comment by Pam. I see many men and women who have found that their worth is based soley on what they can do for other people. A life of service can be a healthy choice --but ONLY when there is already a pre-existing knowledge of self worth.  It took me a long time to understand this myself. Growing up I was taught clearly the importance of serving others and infact chose my profession, becuase I found great joy in helping others. In my thirties - I was a mom of 4 young children, had a wonderful husband, lived in a beautiful area, and was depressed. The more depressed I got the more I tried to focus on serving others. The message I was raised with was that the key to happiness was to do just that -get out and serve more. Becuase of this, I could not understand why despite all the service I was giving my children, my husband, my friends, and fellow wards members --I was NOT happier. I went to a counselor and she helped me understand that what I was trying to do was gain my self worth through service. She taught me that service can bring great joy-but that it is not meant to be a tool to build our self worth on.

The Lord loves us not becuase of what we do or what we look like or how many people we help. He loves us because of who we are -his child.

In the culture of our church we tend to think that worth comes through service and righteous living and in the culture of the world-we think that worth comes from our looks, our status, or our accomlishments. In both cases we are beging taught that our worth comes from external forces. In both cases we are being objectified -as our worth comes from what we DO -not from who we are. In reality our worth comes from within. It is not something that is earned -it is given to us freely becuase we are spiritual children of our Heavenly Father who loves us -because we are his children.

Elder Uchdtorf has said, "Disciples of Jesus Christ ......know that a person’s true value has little to do with what the world holds in high esteem. … The Lord uses a scale very different from the world’s to weigh the worth of a soul” (“You Matter to Him,” Ensign, Nov. 2011, 20, 22).


Elder Holland gave a wonderful talk in Oct 2005 General Conference about the way the world objectifies us through getting us to believe our worth is found through our looks.

"In this same vein may I address an even more sensitive subject. I plead with you young women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else. We are all different. Some are tall, and some are short. Some are round, and some are thin. And almost everyone at some time or other wants to be something they are not! But as one adviser to teenage girls said: “You can’t live your life worrying that the world is staring at you. When you let people’s opinions make you self-conscious you give away your power. … The key to feeling [confident] is to always listen to your inner self—[the real you.]”  And in the kingdom of God, the real you is “more precious than rubies.”  Every young woman is a child of destiny and every adult woman a powerful force for good. I mention adult women because, sisters, you are our greatest examples and resource for these young women. And if you are obsessing over being a size 2, you won’t be very surprised when your daughter or the Mia Maid in your class does the same and makes herself physically ill trying to accomplish it. We should all be as fit as we can be—that’s good Word of Wisdom doctrine. That means eating right and exercising and helping our bodies function at their optimum strength. We could probably all do better in that regard. But I speak here of optimum health; there is no universal optimum size.

Frankly, the world has been brutal with you in this regard. You are bombarded in movies, television, fashion magazines, and advertisements with the message that looks are everything! The pitch is, “If your looks are good enough, your life will be glamorous and you will be happy and popular.” That kind of pressure is immense in the teenage years, to say nothing of later womanhood. In too many cases too much is being done to the human body to meet just such a fictional (to say nothing of superficial) standard. As one Hollywood actress is reported to have said recently: “We’ve become obsessed with beauty and the fountain of youth. … I’m really saddened by the way women mutilate [themselves] in search of that. I see women [including young women] … pulling this up and tucking that back. It’s like a slippery slope. [You can’t get off of it.] … It’s really insane … what society is doing to women.” 1

In terms of preoccupation with self and a fixation on the physical, this is more than social insanity; it is spiritually destructive, and it accounts for much of the unhappiness women, including young women, face in the modern world. And if adults are preoccupied with appearance—tucking and nipping and implanting and remodeling everything that can be remodeled—those pressures and anxieties will certainly seep through to children. At some point the problem becomes what the Book of Mormon called “vain imaginations.” And in secular society both vanity and imagination run wild. One would truly need a great and spacious makeup kit to compete with beauty as portrayed in media all around us. Yet at the end of the day there would still be those “in the attitude of mocking and pointing their fingers” as Lehi saw, because however much one tries in the world of glamour and fashion, it will never be glamorous enough."

As victims of abuse, you were not taught of your inherent worth. You were treated like an object. As a result you may look to these external things to find your worth. I often find survivors living one of these to extremes...some focusing on serving others and "earning their worth through righteouss living" and others by trying to meet the world's standard of beauty and worth. Neither one will bring about the desired effect!!

How then does one gain self worth? I believe it is a gift from god that comes from him. I believe it comes from learning (from him) who we really are -what our gifts and talents are. It comes from getting to know him better. The more we get to know him -the more we learn about ourselves. How else do you think self worth is gained? This is a topic of many research studies and has been debated over the years. I would love to hear your comments and experiences!