Healing

We talk about healing alot in this blog. Healing is what you are all seeking. It is hard sometimes to pinpoint exactly what healing looks like. But I think that Dr. Matsakis does a good job of giving us an idea. She divides the healing process into three stages.

1. Remembering the trauma
2. Feeling the feelings associated with the trauma
3. The empowerment or mastery stage

That said -Healing is not so simple. It is a nonlinear Process. There will be setbacks. Like anything that takes great effort-you may take 3 steps forward and then two steps back. The key, like Elder Uchdtorf said in my previous blog, is that you are still on the jouney! Sometimes you my feel like you are going backwards in the healing process becuase in fact you need to. Maybe it is your spirit saying that you have taken too much on for right now. You may need to retreat for a moment. As Franklin D. Roosevelt said "when you come to the end of the rope, tie a knot and hang on." I say hang on, regroup-self sooth and then move forward again with renewed energy. 

Often it is hard to tell how far you have come. You will not have to be in therapy forever, but Dr. Matsakis suggests some areas you will need to progress in.

1. You've obtained a clearer more rational picture of the trauma- then when you began the healing process
2. You have spent time grieving, raging or experiencing other feelings associated with the trauma.
3. You have aquired some skills and attitudes that help you take back control of your life, as much as possible and practicle.
4. You have begun to forgive yourself for the behavior during the traumatic event about which you feel guilt or shame (rational or irrational)
5. You have mastered some effective stress-reduction skills so you can function better in your day to day life.  (I Can't Get Over It, A Handbook for Trauma Survivors 2nd Edition)

You will never be perfect in these areas, but I think they are a good way to measure your progress.

There is not a quick solution when it comes to healing from trauma. And there will be times when you will just need to hang on. Sometimes it is about the journey not just the destination!

Elder D. Todd Christofferson explained what he learned from a personal trial: “

"Though I suffered then, as I look back now, I am grateful that there was not a quick solution to my problem. The fact that I was forced to turn to God for help almost daily over an extended period of years taught me truly how to pray and get answers to prayer and taught me in a very practical way to have faith in God. I came to know my Savior and my Heavenly Father in a way and to a degree that might not have happened otherwise or that might have taken me much longer to achieve. … I learned to trust in the Lord with all my heart. I learned to walk with Him day by day.”25. D. Todd Christofferson, “Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread” (Church Educational System fireside, Jan. 9, 2011), lds.org/broadcasts.

Now note he did not say he was grateful for the trial:) But for the process.